By Nil Kartal, Child and Adolescent Psychologist
Quick answer: Settling a child in Dubai when they do not yet speak English usually takes longer than parents expect, and the quiet, clingy or angry phase in the first months is more often language shock than a lasting problem. What helps most is keeping the home language strong, protecting sleep and routine, giving the school clear information, and not mistaking a silent period for a child who is “not coping”. Ask for help if the distress is still there after a term, if it is getting worse, or if your child is struggling in both languages.
A large part of my work is with families who have arrived in Dubai from Turkey and elsewhere with a child who walked into an English-medium classroom understanding almost nothing. I spent ten years as a school psychologist here watching those children in the first term, and I want to give parents the version of that first year that nobody puts in the relocation brochure.
What the first months usually look like
Most children go through a recognisable sequence. In the first week or two there is often excitement and novelty. Then the reality lands: the child spends six hours a day in a room where the rules, the songs, the jokes and the instructions are in a language they cannot follow. They come home exhausted, hungry, and either very quiet or explosive. Sleep gets worse. A previously independent child wants to be carried. A previously easygoing child refuses school at the gate.
None of this means the move was a mistake. It means your child is working harder than any adult in the family, all day, without a break.
The silent period is not a warning sign
Many children learning a second language go through a phase where they say very little in the new language at school, sometimes for months, while they listen and absorb. Teachers occasionally read this as withdrawal or a possible language difficulty. Research on acquiring English as a second language is clear that a silent period lasting weeks to over a year, depending on age, is a normal part of the process, and that children need several years to reach the level of English required for academic work, even when they sound fluent in the playground much sooner.
The question that actually matters is whether your child is progressing in their first language and communicating at home. A child who is chatty in Turkish or Arabic at the dinner table and silent in English at school is doing what second-language learners do. A child who is withdrawing in both languages is the one to look at more closely.
Keep the home language strong
Parents are sometimes advised, by well-meaning relatives or even by schools, to switch to English at home to “speed things up”. Please do not. Your child’s first language is where their thinking, their feelings and their relationship with you live. It is also the foundation English gets built on. Speak your language at home, read in it, let grandparents call in it. English will come from school, from friends and from screens, faster than you fear. What does not come back easily is a child who has lost the language of their family.
What helps with settling a child in Dubai
- Sleep before anything else. A child processing a new language is tired in a way that looks like bad behaviour. Earlier bedtimes for the first term, and quiet time after school, will do more than any strategy.
- Predictability. The same morning routine, the same after-school snack, the same goodbye at the gate. Novelty is everywhere else; home should be boring in the best way.
- Give the school what it needs. A short note: what your child understands in English, what they can say, what comforts them, what words they use for the toilet and for feeling unwell. Ask whether there is a buddy system and whether a child who shares their language is in the class or year.
- Find one friend, not many. One child who will play alongside them at break changes a term. Playdates in the home language count too.
- Keep something from before. The same football club, the same bedtime book, a weekly call with a cousin. Continuity tells a child that not everything has changed.
- Do not interrogate. “What did you do today?” gets nothing from a tired child. Play alongside them and the day comes out sideways.
- Name what is happening. Even young children can understand “school is hard right now because it is all in English, and that will change”. It gives the difficulty a reason and an end.
Settling a child in Dubai when the reaction is delayed
Some children cope well for the first term and fall apart in the second, once the novelty has gone and they realise home is not coming back. This surprises parents, who thought the hard part was over. Delayed reactions are common and are not a sign you did anything wrong. Treat it as the real settling in beginning, not as a relapse.
When to ask for help
Most families find that settling a child in Dubai takes a term or two with the support above. Ask for help if the distress is not easing after a full term, if it is getting worse rather than better, if your child is withdrawing in the home language as well as in English, if sleep or eating have changed for weeks, if they are refusing school most days, or if they say things that frighten you. It is also worth a conversation if you, the parent, are running on empty, because children settle at the speed of the calmest adult in the house.
At Belle Vie, therapy for young children is play-based, which means it does not depend on English. I work in Turkish as well as English, so a Turkish-speaking child can do this work in the language they think in; for other languages, ask us what is possible. The first appointment is with parents only; the child therapy in Dubai page explains how it works, and does my child need therapy? covers the signs in more detail.
Frequently asked questions
How long does it take a child to settle in Dubai?
Most children are noticeably more comfortable after one term and settled within a school year. Language fluency for schoolwork takes longer than social fluency, often several years.
Should I put my child in an English tutor straight away?
Not in the first weeks. Rest and routine matter more. Once they have settled socially, extra support can help, but the school’s own English as an additional language provision is usually the first step.
My child refuses to speak English at all. Is that normal?
Very often, yes: it is the silent period. Watch whether they understand more each week and whether they are communicating in their first language. If both are happening, wait.
Can a child do therapy if they do not speak English?
Yes. Play-based therapy does not depend on English, and sessions with me are available in Turkish as well as English. For other languages, ask us what is possible.
Should we go back home for the holidays?
Usually a good idea. Contact with home does not “unsettle” children; it reassures them that home still exists and that they can have both.
Related reading: expat mental health in Dubai, child therapy, what play therapy is, how to find a child psychologist in Dubai and Nil Kartal’s profile.